“Has anyone seen a giraffe on a bicycle?!”
On any other day of the year, my frantic shout to people passing by would have sounded absurd. But it was Halloween, so it wasn’t that strange.
What was unusual was that I couldn’t find Jacob, my costumed son. I’d turned around for a minute and the beast on the bike had pedaled off without me.
Once I stopped to think rationally, I knew Jacob was headed home. My child knew his limits. He hadn’t even wanted to come out trick-or-treating in the first place.
Here I was asking my child, who has sensory processing issues and trouble understanding social rules, to request candy from strangers. And to do it in a crowd surrounded by flashing lights and spooky music from our neighbor’s haunted garage.
It was just too overwhelming to him.
That’s why he’d wanted to take his bicycle. It kept some distance between him and the other kids.
He also didn’t want to visit the candy van sponsored by the local radio station. It made him anxious to accept candy from people he didn’t know—a big stranger safety issue. (And frankly, who thought it was a good idea to loudly broadcast, “Come to the back of the van, kids. We have candy!”)
And that’s why he finally rode off on his bike.
His younger brother benefited from his solutions—and my mistakes.
The next year, we changed our Halloween approach. Instead of trick-or-treating, Jacob stayed home to hand out candy. We bought him his own bag of it when it was on sale the next day. Everyone was happy.
Five years later, when his brother, Benjamin, hit costume age, I expected we’d arrange a similar Halloween alternative for him. After all, Benjamin also has sensory processing issues and attention issues. He’s easily overwhelmed and easily distracted, and that can cause him to bolt and run away from us.
My husband and I were hopeful that we wouldn’t have to navigate trick-or-treating with Benjamin. But to our surprise, he wanted to trick-or-treat.
This time, though, we were able to use what we’d learned from Jacob to make a plan:
- We chose to trick-or-treat on a quiet street in the neighborhood.
- We talked about safety rules ahead of time and only went to houses of friends and family we knew.
- We let Benjamin know that if he wanted to come home early we’d add to his candy stash—so he didn’t feel short-changed.
But that didn’t solve the bolting-and-running-off issue. How were we going to make sure he didn’t run when he got overwhelmed or saw a friend down the street?
Jacob solved that one for us.
“Doesn’t Benjamin want to be a police officer for Halloween?” Jacob asked. “Why doesn’t he drive his police power wheel? It only goes like 3 miles per hour. It’ll give him plenty of space from the other kids and we can keep an eye on him.”
Oh, out of the mouths of babes—or, in this case, brothers.
The solutions our family comes up with to manage one of our child’s issues often works for the other, too—but not always. My husband and I are lucky to have boys who can help us find creative solutions to their challenges.
And you never saw a happier police officer and un-costumed brother than in our Halloween photos that year.
Planning on trick-or-treating with your child this year? Learn more about common Halloween challenges for kids with learning and attention issues. And get more tips on how to help kids with sensory processing issues have a fun Halloween.
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